forgiveness

I'm So Excited!!

Wasn't that Sister Sledge that sang that song?  Now, I am claiming it as my theme song as I prepare to listen to my first radio interview, "Forgiveness is the Path" hosted by Justine Willis Toms, Program Manager at New Dimensions Radio.

It will air beginning Wednesday, May 2^nd in the afternoon and will be listed on their front page for two weeks where you may tune-in for “free” streaming listening. The interview can be downloaded at any time for $1.99, and with the download you will be able to make your own CD copies, play it on MP3’s and other listening devices, or listen to it on your computer. Later in the month a free download will be available here on my website.

Our dialogue explores many topics: Growing up with expectations as the preacher’s daughter, the responsibility of being the oldest, the path to forgiveness, how to start a circle, the difference between circle and therapy and much more. Justine inquires about the backstory of writing my book, how my family responded to my telling “family secrets” and my experience of circle as I struggled to find peace within myself.

“My first discovery of 
healing was provided by sitting in a women's circle. I had an opportunity to look at myself through the eyes of these
 women with such love and with no judgment. It was unbelievable to me…. the fire that was ignited in the center that kept burning in me as I returned home…it created transformation and actually transmutation in me. I became
 a different person. For the first time, I was able to face myself in a way 
with deep love."

I have heard from many of you about how my book has touched you. Those words are music to my ears. I am grateful and thank you ALL for the support in getting the word out about “Coming To Forgiveness.”

 

The Journey..... to New Dimensions Radio

For the last eleven years Justine Toms, Co-Founder and Managing Producer of New Dimensions Radio and I have sat as original members of The Millionth Circle. We have shared stories, laughed, cried, dreamed, listened deeply, sat in silence, been roommates in Barcelona, Spain and traveled to be in circle at the Chalice Well in Glastonbury England. And nothing was more fulfilling and joyful than being interviewed this past Friday for the May radio broadcast. 

New Dimensions has been around since the 70's when Justine and her husband Michael Toms began asking the question, what does it mean to be human and live in harmony?  It is a question with many twists and turns that leaves me asking even more questions of myself, and my relationship to this universe.  Over the decades the worlds leading-edge guest have included, everybody from Nobel Peace Prize winners to famous playwrights and the Dalai Lama, Maya Angelou, Joseph Campbell, Alice Walker, and Wangari Maathai, to name a very few. Each broadcast has held the listener in a place of reflection as words of emergence, transformation, awareness, inter-connection, possibilities, silence, consciousness... have penetrated our ears, and our hearts.

And so, as I read from my book - the funny chapter when the bug gets down my dress, I'm screaming, while the good folks think I've got the holy spirit....I had to pinch myself.  Here I was sitting across the table from this exquisite interviewer and gracious soul Justine, with the mic all attached and specific instructions about not moving or popping  my knuckles (something I do when I'm a little nervous). Yes, here I was being interviewed and realizing once again, 'had it not been for the JOURNEY,' I most likely would not be speaking these words of race, rage, religion, circle, healing, forgiveness...for world-wide radio.

And so, I say to you and you and you, keep pressing on, stay on the path, keep your dreams alive even when the load feels too heavy to push on.  Know that you are held in a circle of grace and you never know who you will meet, or what gentle being will ask you to share your lessons learned one day. You never know the Justine's in your life, that will partner with you to radiant your light!

You may find my interview here, on the front page for the next week!!

 

 

Ole Southern Healing

Images of the ole South played pitter patter with my mind, as I sat quietly holding the space this past weekend in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. There I was, the facilitator of this Board Retreat offering guidance, asking questions, playing music, reading poetry, eating together, holding hands, and only one other person's ethnicity was the same as mine. More than a few times, I looked around, felt my heart opening, and realized, "Things had changed."  

When I left the South in 1963, the images of mistreatment, prejudice, and discrimination traveled like worn luggage with me. Buried within, I licked my wounds and made a silent pledge to myself that I would never come back except to visit family.  More than a few times, my husband had jokingly inquired with curiosity, "Let's move to the South."  That's when my pledge was revealed, coated by an emotion deep inside me, as I responded, "Are you crazy? Never."  

But this weekend as we closed the circle, tears un-expectantly filled my eyes. I could feel ML King, those that had sacrificed their lives, and my own father smiling down on me with compassion and grace. Angry expressions worn with bitterness and outcry that, "I was second class'' were healed, as I looked upon the faces of these women. It was a moment I will never forget.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not naive. Racism still exist. While integration is in full bloom, I witnessed little evidence of integrated friendships or relationships.  African Americans jogged, walked the trails, ate red beans and rice, shopped, rode in automobiles, and attended church with other African Americans. But then, is this so different than other parts of the country? 

For a long time, I have believed, if you want FULL integration in your life, you must open yourself up to diversity in ways that challenge all your old stereotypes. If you want it, you must be open to a dialogue where myths and beliefs are flushed out into the open. You must be open to believe, we are all inter-connected. It is a humbling experience!

And for this time around, to every women who's eyes I glazed into...I appreciate the hugs and genuine acceptance that I felt; the welcome I received, peer to peer - equal. Yes, much has changed. And I suppose at the core, the change has also happened in me!

Forgiveness in the Face of Disappointment

I was sharing a story over dinner this past weekend with my women's circle, about someone I held in close esteem volunteering to read my book, Coming To Forgiveness. I had hoped in doing so, one or two world-known endorsers would potentially be secured. After-all, this person knew lots of important people and I told myself, as a first time writer, I needed that support. I was counting on it. 

I continued sharing the story of unfolded waiting, then waiting some more, before coming to understand that the volunteered support ultimately, wasn't going to happen. A couple of my circle sisters leaned in, as the wax dripped from the brilliant red candles on the dinner table. "How did that feel? What did you do?" With all the talk about practicing forgiveness in all situations, I could sense my circle sisters waiting for my response. And like a fresh paper cut, I reflected, as I took a breath.

"I was disappointed, very disappointed," I calmly shared. "But in those moments of recognizing what was not going to happen, I had a choice. I could recall the broken promises of my life and resort to feelings quite familiar. Feelings of resentment, unhappiness, dissatisfaction, sadness, and frustration. Feelings of regret and taking everything personally. Or, I could choose to forgive the unfulfilled expectation. And forgive myself for the longing." That's what I call disappointment; intentions or promises - sometimes from others, sometimes from myself, that go unmet. "When I saw the person, I treated them the same as always, with love in my heart."

I could feel a mixture of surprise, relief, and sweet acknowledgement in the posture of my circle sisters. And in that moment, I was reminded once again.

Life is filled with hopes, dreams, and wishes that sometimes are not satisfactorily fulfilled. A broken engagement, a forgotten birthday or anniversary, no acknowledgement for a job well done, shabby accommodations on a dream vacation, the anticipated phone call from a friend or loved one, or apology that never comes....the list is endless. And we, I, always have a choice in determining how I will respond.

In making forgiveness a lifelong practice, there will be times I will fall short of my own expectations. Depending on the circumstances of the deed, I may forget for a moment, a day, or a week my intention. But that's why it's called practice. During those times, it's comforting to know in my disappointment, I can choose to forgive myself, once again!