forgiveness

I'm So Excited!!

Wasn't that Sister Sledge that sang that song?  Now, I am claiming it as my theme song as I prepare to listen to my first radio interview, "Forgiveness is the Path" hosted by Justine Willis Toms, Program Manager at New Dimensions Radio.

It will air beginning Wednesday, May 2^nd in the afternoon and will be listed on their front page for two weeks where you may tune-in for “free” streaming listening. The interview can be downloaded at any time for $1.99, and with the download you will be able to make your own CD copies, play it on MP3’s and other listening devices, or listen to it on your computer. Later in the month a free download will be available here on my website.

Our dialogue explores many topics: Growing up with expectations as the preacher’s daughter, the responsibility of being the oldest, the path to forgiveness, how to start a circle, the difference between circle and therapy and much more. Justine inquires about the backstory of writing my book, how my family responded to my telling “family secrets” and my experience of circle as I struggled to find peace within myself.

“My first discovery of 
healing was provided by sitting in a women's circle. I had an opportunity to look at myself through the eyes of these
 women with such love and with no judgment. It was unbelievable to me…. the fire that was ignited in the center that kept burning in me as I returned home…it created transformation and actually transmutation in me. I became
 a different person. For the first time, I was able to face myself in a way 
with deep love."

I have heard from many of you about how my book has touched you. Those words are music to my ears. I am grateful and thank you ALL for the support in getting the word out about “Coming To Forgiveness.”

 

Living Forgiveness - The Four Agreements

When the newspaper article about my book Coming To Forgiveness was featured in October, I was reading The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. Even though my family knew I was writing, suddenly, I was at odds with an important family member. There were hurt feelings, ridicule, and threatened estrangement. Overnight, I had to decide which parts of my domestication still ruled my actions. 

At first my inner critic caught me by the throat with the fear of rejection. Judgements about what other people would think followed me around like a dark cloud. Afterall, I was sharing some of the family secrets, and that was enough to be cursed forever. And then after pondering my own journey from brokenness to wholeness, I mustered up the courage to remember, I am no longer a victim - I will not condemn myself to hell.  I looked myself in the mirror and declared, This is you living in your personal power with humility and grace!

But could I really do it?  

Understanding that my words were power, it took every ounce of consciousness to keep creating the feeling of love and compassion, while contemplating the situation. Every opportunity to speak about my family love one, whether to another family member or in my thoughts was from a place of positivity. I envisioned sweet fruit bearing from the seeds of my words. And at the same time, spoke my truth. It felt honest, free and clean without gossip being nurtured.

But how could I not take my love ones stance personally?  The words I was hearing about me were filled with accusations. "I was causing sleepless nights, turmoil, and soiling others reputations." Or was I?

Because I love my family member, it was challenging and I decided to leave the problem in their lap, as I recognized the fear and judgments were not my own.

From there it was less difficult to let go and breathe. I pledged to dislodge my interpretation, vivid imagination and assumptions. I decided on patience and waited for the right opportunity to inquire. I felt if we could both listen and speak from our hearts, love would sustain us.

Yesterday as emotions spilled forward, I was invited by spirit into the practice of the agreements - the power of my words, releasing the need to be right, letting go of anything negative spoken about me, not reacting, asking questions, listening deeply, asking more questions... I couldn't change my love one, but I could do my best to bring everything I'm learning about FORGIVENESS and the agreements to this very moment. 

What began on shaky ground lead to understanding, appreciation of the other and a promise of reconcilation. I had surrendered, let go and once again felt the power of love.